Willow wrapped the blanket around her shoulders tightly. She shuddered, even though it wasn't really that cold. Her eyes were wide and shining from unshed tears, but she knew the tears would never fall. She couldn't cry anymore, she'd cried for four days straight. She stared lifelessly at the ocean, watching the dark waves crash against the shore. Normally, she would have found the dark night beautiful, but tonight...it was lonely.

She glanced down at her hand, the shiny diamond ring still glistening, as if it were brand new. Ten years. Ten years she had dedicated to him, and loved every minute of it. He had shown her the world, and all the joys within.

Willow, who had just celebrated her twenty-ninth birthday, had no children, only her husband Graham. They were happy to have several years to themselves. Recently they had decided to start trying for a child within the year. Willow, however, hadn't been sure if she would be a good mother because of her lack of maternal support growing up, but with Graham, she'd wanted to try.

She knew now that dream would never happen. She was at their condo up the coast at the beach. It was a beautiful home, lavishly decorated with special mementos from all over the world. Everything that was important to Willow was in this summer getaway. Everything but Graham....

Five days earlier her morning had started out normal. She awoke to find Graham watching her, as he often did. "Twenty-nine years old and you still look as beautiful and young as you did the first night I saw you at Lowell," he whispered, kissing her.

They made love all morning, as it was Saturday, and they had the day to waste away. As they finally got up to have lunch, the phone rang.

She answered it. It was Riley, Graham's best friend. They hadn't seen each other in two years, since the fifth anniversary party she and Graham threw for Riley and Buffy. The two men stayed in touch, as did their wives, but the four never had time to cross the continent to get together.

Graham smiled at Willow as he hung up the phone, but she knew that something was wrong. "What is it?" she asked her husband.

"Riley needs me. One more mission."

Willow frowned. "I thought the Initiative was in our past."

"It is, beautiful, but he needs me. I can't say no..."

Willow sighed, running her hand over her face. She knew he wanted to go, he still had military blood in his veins. "If you want to go, go....just come home safely."

He smiled. "I knew you would understand." He kissed her.

*-*-*-*

The next morning, Willow awoke to banging on the door. She already missed Graham. He was to be gone a week, but she knew she'd be fine. She had plenty of things she could do around the house while she waited for him to come home.

She put on a robe and went downstairs. She opened the door. "Buffy!" she cried, hugging her. "It's been two years! How are you?"

Buffy's smile didn't reach her eyes.

Riley stepped up behind her. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Something was wrong. Willow paled. "G...Guys?"

Riley stepped past Buffy and wrapped Willow up in his arms. "I'm so sorry, Willow. I tried so hard, I tried to save him."

"No, you can't....you can't do this to me!" she cried, pushing out of his arms. "You can't call him and tell him you need him, and then come the next day and tell me he's not coming home!" "Willow," Riley said, gripping her arms. "I tried to save him. I promise you, I did everything in my power to save him."

"I was there," Buffy said quietly. "He did. We both did."

Tears streamed down Willow's face. "I just want you to know... Two people died today."

"Willow..." Buffy started.

"No, Buffy, don't. I don't want to hear anything. You still have Riley. Xander still has Anya, Angel still has Cordelia. And now, I'm alone." She began to push the door closed. "I will call as soon as I get the funeral arrangements finished."

"Will....let us do it," Riley whispered. "It's the least we can do..."

"No. I know what Graham would have wanted," she said, sadly. "Thank you for coming personally. I don't think I could have taken it from anyone else."

The funeral had been simple, just herself, the old Scooby Gang, Riley, and a few of Willow and Graham's close friends. She'd actually smiled some through the funeral, as the gang remembered times past in Sunnydale. It had been five years since they'd all been together.

After the initial calm due to shock, Willow was a wreck. She ran up her phone bill, spending hours talking to people all over the world, sobbing to Angel, to Xander, to Buffy, to Giles.

And here it was five days later.

She seemed to have cried herself out for now.

"Red?"

Willow blinked, coming out of her lifelessness. She sat up straighter, straining for a voice she had to have imagined. A voice she hadn't heard in almost ten years, since that moment when she told Graham she loved him.

He couldn't be there.... it couldn't be...

"Pet?"

Willow slowly turned in her chair, and found herself facing a well defined stomach in a black tee-shirt. Her eyes traveled up the chest and gazed into emotion filled blue eyes framed by pale skin, blonde hair...

"Spike?"

He smiled softly. "I came as soon as I heard....I wanted...to be here for you for the funeral....but being on the other side of the world gave me bloody problems....damn sun," he whispered. He knelt beside her chair and took her hands. "I'm....sorry about your loss."

"I'm not crying anymore," Willow whispered, her bottom lip quivering. "I can't...Spike, I can't cry anymore." She wiped tears away with the back of her hand. "I can't let myself. Graham wouldn't want me to do that."

"Oh, god, Willow," Spike whispered, his heart breaking for her. He pulled the frail woman into his arms and rocked her as she sobbed on his chest. "I'm here for you, pet....I am always going to be here for you."

She looked up at him. "I need sleep," she said suddenly. "Spike, stay with me tonight."

He smiled, brushing her red hair out of her face. "I will, pet. I'll stay as long as you need me."

She smiled through her tears. "Thank you." She kissed his cheek.

*-*-*-*

"Pet, you can fake your breathing all you want...I know you aren't asleep," Spike whispered from his side of her king sized bed.

"I haven't been able to sleep since he left," Willow whispered. "I miss him so much."

Spike could hear her heart breaking as she spoke. "Shhh... of course you do Red... come here." He pulled her into his arms. "You are strong Willow. You will survive this. I have faith in you."

She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. "Thank you, Spike, for coming, for being here...for holding me."

"Anytime, pet, anytime."

The two just looked at each other until Willow's eyelids got heavy. Spike breathed a sigh of relief when her exhausted body finally gave up and fell into a dreamless sleep. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Willow," he whispered. He held her close to him and joined her in sleep.